Sales Objection: The “I have to check with my Spouse” objection and how not to be a dick about it.
When you’re selling high-ticket services or products (like over $1000 or so) you are most definitely, without a doubt, going to run headfirst into the oldest objection in the book:
The “I have to check with my partner first” objection.
If you’re selling high ticket coaching services or year-long memberships, you will likely hear this objection more than most because, well, you are asking for a large amount of money.
And, parting with large amounts of money is scary.
Not only is there never a guarantee that the large amount of money they have spent will actually amount to anything but…
…they need to defend and rationalize why they are spending the large amount of money in the first place.
Now, personally, I would spend a large amount of money on say, a high-profile mastermind membership, and not bat an eye.
I wouldn’t check with my spouse.
I wouldn’t need approval.
But then again, my finances for my business are separate from our joint account and well, a yearlong mastermind would be a business expense. Therefore, I don’t need to check with anyone to spend my business money.
I would hazard a guess that most people don’t have the same financial setup as me. Many married folks just throw all the money into a joint account and pull from it as needed.
And so, in that case, I’d say checking with a spouse before you pull out $5k of your joint account is probably the most respectful thing to do.
And really, in my mind, I think the “I have to check with my spouse” objection is actually a sign of a healthy relationship.
Of course, it can be used as a stalling tactic.
Of course, it’s the perfect way to escape a sales call.
Of course, it’s an objection that potential buyers use to stay non-committal.
But, if your potential buyer does seem interested but wants to have that conversation with their spouse…just let them.
See it as a sign of respect.
Don’t look at it as a failed sales call.
Don’t just assume the person is a giant asshat for wasting your time.
Just assume the best and honor the respect the potential buyer is showing to their spouse.
If they are interested and do truly want to talk it over at home that’s better for you because your buyer has the full support of their family.
If it was an objection and they actually weren’t interested in buying right now, then hit them up later with a reactivating email or check-in. They might not be a viable sale right now…but they might be later.
I know there’s many a seasoned sales-person out there shaking their head while reading this and basically thinking that I’m too soft or that I’m letting the buyer slip through my fingers but…
…I sold high ticket services all the way through a pandemic. I had hundreds of conversations with people in really shitty circumstances. I had to walk the fine line of ethical selling and not screw it up.
While people needed the services I was selling I also had a responsibility not to sell when it seemed like their situation was just too rough. I had to be sensitive to unprecedented situations. Oftentimes, I had no idea just how much damage the pandemic had caused to the families of my potential buyers.
With poverty, death, and bankruptcy just part of the day-to-day conversation, I would say checking with your spouse before making an investment would be a very smart move.
And so, when someone needs to tell me that have to chat with their spouse I honor that part of their relationship and simply keep the door open for them.
Now, over the years I have been told that this objection is one you simply *must* overcome.
Male mentors have told me to say things like:
“Well, isn’t your spouse supportive of your decision?”
“Well, I think we should rebook this call when your spouse is available so I can chat with them”
And, maybe the most repulsive
“Does your spouse make all the decisions for you”
This is definitely a very male way of looking at things and maybe more seasoned sales pit bulls won’t stand for this objection but honestly….
….as a woman, as a saleswoman, I handle this objection as humanely and graciously as I can by letting them off the hook.
I will let them know that I respect that decision. I will tell them how great it is to have that level of communication and openness in their relationships.
I will tackle it with humor too.
If the audience is right I will say something like “OK! You go check with the boss and let me know tomorrow how it goes”.
Usually, that will pull a laugh or at least a grunt of appreciation.
But at least it breaks the tension and gives a graceful and proactive exit to the conversation. It leaves the door open for future conversations and the perfect opening for your next follow-up email.
So look, let’s not get our testosterone all in a knot when a prospective high-ticket buyer pulls the oldest objection in the book.
Don’t battle it.
Don’t try to win it.
Don’t try to overpower them.
Just accept it graciously and then use it to open your next conversation with them.
And look, if objections and sales calls are still an anxiety-ridden event, why not download my No-Fail Sales Template today: LINK.
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You can use this template today and have a better sales conversation tomorrow.
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Sell ya soon,